One day while I was driving, my tire became flat. I really didn't have any money for a new one or even a "may pop tire", so I walked to the local Walmart and found a host of temporary patches. After making my selection, I proceeded to try my best to fix the tire, at least until I got the funds to purchase a new one. Unfortunately, when you apply a temporary fix to a problem or you try to use it longer than the instructions tell you, you tend to get complacent to the point you may forget that it was temporary to begin with.
Which brings me to the subject at hand. Couples get married and as life goes on, for some couples, the honeymoon phase wears off, disagreements come and financial inconveniences occur as hinderances to distract the Godly Union. The enemy knows if he could cut the Union in two halves, the Mission could not be completed because the two are no longer one whole. When this happens, couples begin to SELF-medicate by searching for any UnGodly source to fix the problem. Speaking from a male point of view, we look in some of the most craziest places. Family, Friends and Oh yeah, Other Females, anyone with an itching ear. And before you know it, here comes trouble.
It's like putting a band-aid on a problem, but never truly getting it fixed. It starts off with telling someone else the problem. Then whenever a new situation arises, we turn to those itching ears again. And before you know it, we get so comfortable going to that TEMPORARY fix that it seems to give you this ILLUSION of what you think is the SOLUTION. The word temporary comes from the Latin word TEMPUS which means time. I am reminded as in cooking, when we tempor something, we only have a small window of time. If too much time elapses, it could ruin the whole recipe.
Now you know how these temporary situations come along. They only come along for the ride as long as you're scratching those itching ears. But as soon as you fail to entertain THOTS, it blows up. Just like that tire, when it blows up causes more damage than if I had just looked for a better solution. See at the end of the situation with my tire, I never even thought about checking the trunk to see what options I already had available that were already mine. It finally dawned on me that I never even looked in the trunk. When I did, there was a brand new tire that the previous owner bought because she didn't like the way the spare looked. What I needed was already provided in what I already had. How many times do we find ourselves in Marriage or in Life try to rely on a temporary fix instead of asking God for His Direction?
He always has a ram in the bush, but we are afraid to go to Him. Temporary is just that, Temporary. It only last for a short time. But God deals in Permanent Solutions that heals everyone involved.
The Word says in Matthew 18:20 KJV that, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." And if I read the scriptures correctly when Jesus was present, the whole situation changed. Especially when demons were around, they fled when Jesus came around and in one situation, they asked Him could they flee?
In a nutshell, let those temporary fixes go and keep your Permanent Solution. It will save you time, energy, money and a trip to the Courthouse.
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.