Salutations to all the Fellow Wives! Shouts out and much respect to those of you who are holding it down by "Acting Like A Lady and Thinking Like A Boss." It looks good on you. Happy National Women's History Month. Please keep striving to make your mark. You've got this!
Ladies, we need to talk. This article is no intended disrepect to anyone, but it appears, there's an issue which needs to be addressed. It happens once...I'm like ok. It happens twice...I'm like, naw... It happens the third time...I'm like really?!?! It happens the fourth time...I'm like, "where they do that at?" And before you get started, I'm not talking about any personal experiences from myself. Everybody knows ChefRickey2013 don't play that. Real talk, he's not the one you need to be concerned about. Lady Allen don't play that. Lady is not just a title, it's a way of life. So "put some RESPECK on it. And I ain't going say it no more."
So you married a wanderer...and how is that someone elses fault?!?!? The level of blatant disrepect in marriages and towards marriages are at an all time high. I can't really say it's on the rise because that would imply that at some point it was lower. How does someone flirt with another person right in front of their Spouse, like they ain't even there? Ladies have you set the bar that low in order to "get a ring on it?" And here's the insane part, the Wife gets mad at the person their Husband is flirting with. #WOW
It made me start to think, is this a Cultural thing? Geographical? Social? Economical? Trend? Acceptable? I've been trying to pin it down to one specific thing and to be honest, I haven't been able to. The saying goes, "boys will be boys" and now, they can add "girls will be girls." If you've married a boy, then that's your choice. But don't get upset when he has an adolescent episode and you're unable to de-escalate his behavior. In the same breath, don't get upset when he has an adolescent episode and then go out an mimic his behavior. Both parties are wrong and need to take responsibility for their own choices and actions.
Stop blaming the unsuspecting. Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing and seeing it. I know...I know. It's hard for you to believe that not everyone thinks like you. I get it. But believe me when I tell you, there are married couples out there who really love each other. Believe me when I tell you, there married couples out there who are just God-fearing, Fun-loving, Close-knit families who are trying, with the help of The Lord daily, to keep there families together as God had originally intended. Believe me when I tell you, not everyone has purchased a Lifetime Membership to the "Boys will be Boys Club" or the "That's Nice!!! Women's Auxillary."
With some people, I'm hoping we're the Majority, No means NO. Ignore, means NO. A slight smile and a nod means, keep walking. The rolling of the eyes means, if you're doing that to your Wife, she sees you, says nothing, and proceeds to call her Auxillary mates to jump on the woman, then you surely will do it to someone else. The sighs when you're trying to be charming right in front of the Husband means, I sure wish he would shut up, he must be trying to buy some whoop tickets. If the Husband is not around and the cell phones comes out of the purse, she's texting him to come handle the situation and you have about 3 minutes to cease and disist, no one will be responsible for what happens after that.
So you married a wanderer...Pray. Counseling. Pray. Counseling. Decide. Pray. We're all about the Protection of the Institution of Marriages. But please don't blame the other person for you marrying a Lifetime Member of the "Boys will be Boys Club" or the "That's Nice!!! Women's Auxillary. Just cancel the membership.
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.