The Chef and I pray about every topic that we discuss on our Blog Spot. This is one of those topics that has been lingering, not because we didn't pray about it, but because we wanted to be able to have a mature discussion. If you are sensitive to certain "grey area" topics, then now is the time to stop reading this.
Sloppy Seconds is the term used, by extension, to refer to any act of entering into a sexual relationship with a person who had previously been in a sexual relationship with someone else in one's peer group.
Sometimes I just can not believe the level of mediocracy and desperation that has swept the land. The very idea of accepting the unacceptable is quite disturbing. Every man and woman doing what is right in their own eyes with full knowledge of what is morally and spiritually acceptable because we are in the Dispensation of Grace. Romans 6:1-3 (MSG) says, "So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!"
Coming from a Chef's point of view, even though some of us use food to create leftovers, its not our most favorite thing to do. See, when you use food from a previous meal, the balance is thrown off. We spend so much time working on a Meal or Dish. We use certain seasonings, but more importantly, a real Chef puts their heart and soul into every dish. When I prepare a Meal or Dish, I visualize what the outcome is going to look and taste like far before I turn the fire on for the first time. Then I plan what seasonings and preparations are needed for the task to make it as special as my vision. And not to mention how much of my heart and time will go into it. I work very hard to bring my Meal or Dish into alignment with my vision.
But we are talking about Life and Relationships...or are we? When you try to be with someone that is married or in a serious relationship, it is very Sloppy, Second hand and a Virtual Hand-me-down. Before, During and After the time a person is with someone, investments into the relationship have been made. Vision - God points two people to the right direction so that an encounter pursues. After the first encounter, the two envision what the first date or life with that person would be like. Preparation - We covered this in previous Blog post. There are many painstaking things that go into making things perfect or even close to perfection of our vision. Life - The actual date and what comes forth. So much is invested into Marriage and Relationships, no wonder the devil works so hard to send Sloppy Seconds to steal, kill and destroy them. Why on earth would anyone want something that has been used by someone else?
Unfortuantely, we as men, when we feel at our most Gutter, Back-Alley, Lazy and Trifling ways, do we think that such behavior is acceptable? We are not talking second and third marriages. We are talking about Sloppy Seconds. Look up the definition in the urban dictionary and you will understand what I'm talking about. *thots, hoes, jezebels, side-pieces, side-chicks or even women or men that you are creeping with are doing it to Steal, Kill and Destroy what doesn't belong to them in the first place. And when they are finished with you or even while they are doing it with you, they go to the next "John" or since we are acting Gutter, the next "Trick" that they have already marked.
I've said it once, this is the second time. Leave your neighbor's ass alone. When the stray donkeys pass along side your fence, leave it alone. "Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and lakes that you're use to." - TLC
Oh yeah! We were talking about food, meals and dishes. When Chefs use Leftovers, we have to put in more work to perfect the New Dish because who knows what was used to make it before us. But when you make a Meal from scratch, you know what ingredients you are getting and how fresh they are. You know if it's spoiled or not. And you know if it needs to be discarded or not.
*Purposely left uncapitalized to show how insignificant these roles are.*
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.