Intimacy. Why is it so taboo to talk about intimacy in Church or even with other Christian Brothers? When the Bible says that the Marriage Bed is undefiled, it should be easy to talk about. But intimacy is often acquainted with being "Wordly," "Perverted" or only needed for "Procreation." Sort of like when the Children of Israel had started doing right in their own sight. But this week, the Ref and I have been talking about how to approach the subject of intimacy versus ecstasy. Let's talk intimacy in Christian Marriages to begin.
God created intimacy for Marriage. But because of Man's Lustful desires, it often gets twisted into something that it was never intended to be. As a man I have to say, "I Love It!" But just what about intimacy do we really Love. Is it closeness and the sheer feeling that during this time one feels as though they are the only man in the world? Is it the animalistic behavior that two people act like during that period of time? Is it the heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweating and body contorting in ways unimaginable? Or is it the passionate ending and the insatiable desire to sleep, that one loves so much? Well...yes, yes it is. All of it! And the consent longing to do it all over again and again and again with the one God joined you together to become One Flesh.
Marital Intimacy and Intimacy while being single are two totally different things. It's not just about morality. When you are not under the covenant of marriage, intimacy is like chasing something that you'll never be able to catch up to. It's like the dog races that have a fake rabbit on a track. The gate opens and the Dogs compete to see who would be the fastest to get it. The prize is a small treat and the thing you were chasing wasn't real to begin with. In Marriage, The Chase is always a fun way to keep the House lively. You already know what it really takes to catch the prize because what you have obtained was real to begin with. And the only competition is who catches who first.
Intimacy is only one facet of Expressions of Love. One's other facets are just as exciting. True intimacy is not just sexual intercourse, like we as men want to believe. It is the total act of being transparent and vulnerable. It is the equivalent of being naked with your clothes but only being seen by the person whom God created uniquely for you to be your Soul Mate forever.
Man is a Spirit, that possesses a Soul that lives in a Body which is the ultimate definition of the words, "All of Me." We are on constant guard of not allowing anyone to access entry to "All of Me." You see the body, but the Spirit and Soul are on Lockdown. At times you may touch my Body but only God can grant you access to touch my Spiritual man and Soul. That's why the Bible says, "Two shall become One." And True Love (I Corinthians 13), is in the midst. When infidelity, fornication and ungodly Lust try to mimic that Union, it always ends up disasterous. The Love of a Husband and Wife is truely Unbreakable. What God has joined together is Unbreakable. So you wonder why after intimate times the worries of the world seem to fade away? Well, "Love Lifted Me" to coin a phrase from an ole skool gospel song. When I'm depressed and feeling like nothing good is happening, "Love Lifted Me." When I'm feeling like the world has abandoned me, "Love Lifted Me." Now I know that Intimacy is not the remedy for everything, but the connection with True Intimacy is. Intimate Times are just the icing on the cake.
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.