I have been watching the trend of the term Power Couples for the past several years. I've noticed that the definition changes based upon who is defining the term. Originally, it was a term that was given to Couples who seemed to have a Fairytale Romance. The Couple would be people of influence, especially to those around them with jaw-dropping good looks and would seemingly have the perfect relationship with their significant other. The most common type of Power Couple is given to famous people like Beyonce' and Jay-Z or Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union. I love both of those Couples and would definitely agree. It's not easy to live out your life on a stage in front of the entire world while drowning out the opinions of people you will never even meet, but because they are a fan or a follower, they think they know you.
May I submit to you, that the term Power Couple is not new terminology. After all, if you really look at it, the very first Power Couple was Adam and Eve who started out their relationship with everything a Married Couple could ever want in the Garden of Eden. Until Eve was deceived by the serpent and they were evicted. There was Abraham and Sarah, who were an older Power Couple, desperate to have a child. Sarah tried to fix the situation by soliciting a Surrogate Mother, jealousy erupted and you know what happened next. In the end, God's Promises were still fulfilled. How about Jacob and Rachel? Jacob was willing to work for 14 years just to marry his One True Love, Rachel. Even after being subjected to trickery from his Father-in-Law, Jacob and Rachel became a Power Couple in the end.
I saw a quote that read, "When Boaz saw Ruth, she was working, not twerking." Boaz was attracted to Ruth's exceptional loyalty, they fell in love, married and became the Grandparents to King David. Then we have the Bride and Groom in the Song of Solomon. If you are still unclear about the difference between Intimacy and Ecstasy in Christian Marriages, the Song of Solomon is an erotic poem that traces one relationship from meeting to courtship to consumation. I know some people may not want to acknowledge sex in relationship to the Bible, but it is truly an intricate part. And finally, but certainly not the least or the last, Mary and Joseph. A Carpenter whose Virgin Bride was chosen to carry and birth the Messiah...Our Messiah...Jesus Christ. Hands-down, in my opinion, they were the most Influential Power Couple of them all.
There is so much we can learn from looking at different relationships in terms of #SquadGoals to becoming a Power Couple. In my opinion, Power Couples are happy and cannot be without each other. They are two of a kind who can make it through whatever. They have ups and downs but always manage to make it work. Anything can happen, but the two are inseparable. Power Couples are very Loving Couples who made it through storms and still find their way back to each other. They are forever, no matter what.
Chef was sitting on the side of the bed early one morning. I could tell something was bothering him. Husbands don't really like to talk about their feelings. They usually prefer to just try and figure situations out by themselves. Not really knowing what to say, the Holy Spirit told me to tell him this, "I see the King in You." He looked up at me and said, "Wow." From that moment forth, his disposition changed from one of sadness and uncertainty to one of joy, hope and confidence. Wives, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to Speak Life into Your Own Husband. Romans 8:26 KJV states, "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
In looking briefly into the lives of Power Couples, there is a commonality. When your relationship is built on the Solid Rock which is Jesus Christ, it can overcome any obstacle the devil tries to throw your way. After all, you agreed before God and Man, "For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. Until death due us part." All of these relationships have Love, Joy, Struggle, Pain, Promises broken and Promises kept, but because the two have truly become one, they will always rise to the challenge of being a Power Couple with the help of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Romans 13:1 KJV states, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God."
So to settle the debate about who is or isn't a Power Couple, having a Marriage that is Ordained by God because there are no powers that be except by Him, makes you The Ultimate Power Couple.
Ecstasy... If you've never experienced Ecstasy during Intimacy with your own Husband, then you are truly missing out! I don't think people really understand the difference between Intimacy and Ecstasy. I am hopeful that this topic will bless many marriages because I believe that only a small percentage of married couples have had the unique and divine pleasure of this experience.
Rapture. Bliss. Elation. Euphoria. Joy. Jubilation. Exultation. A Trancelike state. These are all words used to describe the experience of Ecstasy during Intimacy. When you think about the act of Intimacy with your own Husband, what words come to mind? Is it just another thing to check off on your "To-Do List?" Is it something that you want to happen quick, fast and painless? Do you try and make up excuses as to why you don't want to enter into Intimacy with your own Husband? Do you try and use The Word of God as a means of justification as to why you don't think Intimacy with your own Husband should be a priority for you? Wives if you find yourself answering "yes" to any of these questions, you haven't experienced real Ecstasy.
Ecstasty takes Intimacy a step further. Mark 10:8 NIV states, "and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh." When the two become one flesh, you can feel one another's emotions. Your own Husband won't have to "ask" you to be Intimate with him because your bodies will feel one another without even touching. When he yearns for you, you yearn for him. It feels like a wave of heat that starts at the crown of your head and slowly moves down to the tip of your toes that you both feel simultaneously. It makes the anticipation of Intimacy more intense, more trancelike. And once you are in the act of Intimacy, your bodies are moving in a rhythmic dance. There are no words, only movement, passion, kisses and it's knowing what the other wants or likes without having to say one word.
When you are one flesh, you only have eyes for your own Husband. "Every Tom, Dick and Harry" don't matter. When you are one flesh, your so-called friends can't come between your Union by trying to convince you that it is better to "have your cake and eat it too." Keep listening to that type of advice and you and your cake will end up out on the curb, reduced down to misery. When you are one flesh, you don't "withhold" anything to make things more intense. It is a myth to make someone wait on purpose. "Withholding" only opens the door to infidelity. Intense does not mean Intimacy or Ecstasy, it's more like, shaking up a hot Coca Cola can and then opening it expecting not to make a mess. When you are one flesh, you don't change genitals like you change underwear. Ladies you've seen or maybe even had underwear that have Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday on them. Why are you replacing the days of the week with the names of your part-time lovers? When you are one flesh, you don't swap Ecstasy for Intimacy because everyone loses. Ephesians 5:22 KJV states, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Stop being sex slaves with a marriage license being bought, sold and traded like our Forefathers and Foremothers. Your have limited yourselves to only experiencing Intimacy. You will never get the benefits of experiencing Ecstasy. God created Intimacy and Ecstasty between a Husband and his own Wife. Wives, do you really want these THOTS to become THOUGHTS like "faded pictures in a broken glass?" Then stop allowing them to take the Ecstasy out of the Intimacy with your own Husband.
We are a Spirit, that possesses a Soul that lives in a body. Intimacy is experienced with the body, anyone can do that. Ecstasty is experienced with not just the Body, but the Spirit and Soul as well. Intimacy is the Foundation of Ecstasy. For those Wives complaining about their Husband having ED. Is it really erectile dysfunction or is it an emotional disturbance? For those Wives complaining about the "brief" Intimacy encounters with their Husbands, Ecstasy extends that time considerably. We make time for everything, but each other. Consider this, are you one flesh expressing a level of Intimacy that ultimately leads to Ecstasy? If you don't feel Bliss, Elation, Jubilation or Express Intimacy with your own Husband until you both are in a Trancelike state, then the two have not truly become one flesh. You should try it with your own Husband! Ecstasy is an experience that is truly out of this world.
Intimacy. Why is it so taboo to talk about intimacy in Church or even with other Christian Brothers? When the Bible says that the Marriage Bed is undefiled, it should be easy to talk about. But intimacy is often acquainted with being "Wordly," "Perverted" or only needed for "Procreation." Sort of like when the Children of Israel had started doing right in their own sight. But this week, the Ref and I have been talking about how to approach the subject of intimacy versus ecstasy. Let's talk intimacy in Christian Marriages to begin.
God created intimacy for Marriage. But because of Man's Lustful desires, it often gets twisted into something that it was never intended to be. As a man I have to say, "I Love It!" But just what about intimacy do we really Love. Is it closeness and the sheer feeling that during this time one feels as though they are the only man in the world? Is it the animalistic behavior that two people act like during that period of time? Is it the heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweating and body contorting in ways unimaginable? Or is it the passionate ending and the insatiable desire to sleep, that one loves so much? Well...yes, yes it is. All of it! And the consent longing to do it all over again and again and again with the one God joined you together to become One Flesh.
Marital Intimacy and Intimacy while being single are two totally different things. It's not just about morality. When you are not under the covenant of marriage, intimacy is like chasing something that you'll never be able to catch up to. It's like the dog races that have a fake rabbit on a track. The gate opens and the Dogs compete to see who would be the fastest to get it. The prize is a small treat and the thing you were chasing wasn't real to begin with. In Marriage, The Chase is always a fun way to keep the House lively. You already know what it really takes to catch the prize because what you have obtained was real to begin with. And the only competition is who catches who first.
Intimacy is only one facet of Expressions of Love. One's other facets are just as exciting. True intimacy is not just sexual intercourse, like we as men want to believe. It is the total act of being transparent and vulnerable. It is the equivalent of being naked with your clothes but only being seen by the person whom God created uniquely for you to be your Soul Mate forever.
Man is a Spirit, that possesses a Soul that lives in a Body which is the ultimate definition of the words, "All of Me." We are on constant guard of not allowing anyone to access entry to "All of Me." You see the body, but the Spirit and Soul are on Lockdown. At times you may touch my Body but only God can grant you access to touch my Spiritual man and Soul. That's why the Bible says, "Two shall become One." And True Love (I Corinthians 13), is in the midst. When infidelity, fornication and ungodly Lust try to mimic that Union, it always ends up disasterous. The Love of a Husband and Wife is truely Unbreakable. What God has joined together is Unbreakable. So you wonder why after intimate times the worries of the world seem to fade away? Well, "Love Lifted Me" to coin a phrase from an ole skool gospel song. When I'm depressed and feeling like nothing good is happening, "Love Lifted Me." When I'm feeling like the world has abandoned me, "Love Lifted Me." Now I know that Intimacy is not the remedy for everything, but the connection with True Intimacy is. Intimate Times are just the icing on the cake.
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.