I was reading Revelations the other day and I cam across a scripture in the fourth chapter, verse ten that had me totally baffled. It spoke of how the Elders bowed before the Lord and cast their crowns at His feet. Now to my understanding, these crowns were rewarded because of their endurance in Life on Earth and how that through all the Heartache, Blood, Sweat, Tears and most of the time, Public Humiliation, they never gave up the Faith. Not only that, no matter what their earthly or Heavenly status, it was no problem for them to yield everything to The Lord.
So I asked The Lord with everything they went through in Life to get rewarded, they gave it back to You? Now, the act of throwing their crowns were not done as an act of Respect, it was an act of Yielding. That was my struggle. Instead of telling me, He showed me. Without question it became very clear to me. We work very hard in Life to make it everyday. Not to mention, the good and bad we fight through to have a successful marriage. Health is a fight. Friendship is a fight. Work is a fight. Christianity is a fight. Love is a fight. Almost everything we do is a fight.
Paul said He fought the good fight. And in Heaven, God rewards you with a crown to say Thank you for all the good work. Glory to God! When I look back to reflect on how God has always fought All of the Battles for me and made it possible to claim the Victory in Jesus, I know I could have fought harder by having more Faith. When I think on how Great God is to me and my family while we are here on earth and I know we don't deserve it... I can't help but to Yield all at His feet as the Ultimate Act of Worship.
It's time for us to Worship God in everything we do and have. Our Forefathers and Mothers use to say, "If I had ten thousand tongues, I couldn't Thank God enough." Yielding is our Ultimate Act of Worshipping and only then, will everything work out for the Good. When we surrender to our problems, our enemies, or even our so-called defeats, we feel defeated. But when we surrender everything to God, no matter what, we have the assurance that Victory is coming. No matter what it looks like now, Victory is Coming.
Actually, I've found that Victory is already here. It's in our Worship. Gather your family and Come Worship God with me and my family? Worshipping God together as a family unit is a Spiritual Umbrella that will cover not only your marriage, but your entire household. Use the Word of God to cover your household and to teach you how to worship. Worship cannot be penetrated by Rain, Wind, Sun or any other elements that may come against the Family.
Psalms 34:3 KJV says, "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together." God is going to make a way no matter What! I have seen it time and time again. And even in the Greatest fight of my Life, God gets the Ultimate Glory and Victory is surely mine. It is no wonder why the twenty-four Elders threw their crowns at the Feet of God.
When you got married, you both thought it was going to be sunshine, champagne and roses all the time. Married Couples have those days, but what about those rainy days? The mornings you wake up and say, "Sweetheart, I really love you, but I really don't like you right now." There is no full proof formula for withholding the rain. It is not a matter of if the rain will come, it's a matter of when. And when those days come, you must have the ability to say, "I've got you covered."
Now covering is defined as a thing used to cover something else, typically in order to protect or conceal it; a layer of something that covers something else. Have you ever been talking to someone and they say, "I've got you covered." I now wonder do they fully understand the degree to what they are committing to. Protecting, concealing or covering something or in this case someone else, takes committment. Do you have what it takes? Afterall, coverings typically are made to weather not just rain, but any storm. In the sense of a Spiritual Covering, take a look at what some artist depict as the Spiritual Umbrella of Marriage in the illustration below:
This illustration is very clear. Christ is the Head of the Family which covers, protects and conceals the Husband, Wife and their Children. The Husband is to cover his Wife and Children by protecting and providing for his family. The Wife is to cover her Children and Manage the Affairs of the Home. You would think this would be simple, but my question would be, what exactly does this process look like in action? Have you ever heard the expression, "I can show you better than I can tell you?"
By looking at the above illustration you think that the Wife does not have the task of covering her Husband. Wrong, one of the ways a Wife covers her Husband is in Prayer. Wives can bring good to your husband through prayer, prayer for his integrity, his strengths, his weaknesses, his walk, his work – for every aspect of His life.
Ephesians 5:21-33 MSG gives specific instructions for the Christian households, it says, "Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.
No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband."
Simply put, where my husband is weak, I am strong for the both of us. When he is in the Service of The Lord, I stand beside him to assist with spiritual warfare through prayer. I do not allow him to become entrapped in situations that would bring disgrace and dishonor to his ministry. Remember, it's never about us. It's always about hindering the ministry. The devil is always after proving what is holy and just, wrong.
Covering my Husband means learning the inner and outer workings of the ministry or business that God has entrusted us with and to be readily available to assist in any area that needs it. Covering my Husband means standing by his side, through thick and thin. When times are good and when times are bad. Covering my Husband means allowing him to become the Man that God has designed him to be without emasculating his efforts. I am my Husband's biggest Cheerleader, no one can cheer louder than me for him. When he is confused, he lays his head in my lap to bring clarity to this thoughts. When his body is tired or in pain, he can cuddle with me to help soothe his aches.
Covering my Husband means, I know his deepest darkest secrets and I still love him through them anyway without exposing them. Covering my Husband means not only covering his faith, but also covering his freak so that he doesn't have to look outside our marriage bed to be fulfilled. Covering my Husband means exercising wisdom and discerning of spirits to offer sound counsel when an answer must be given. Wives, sometimes you have to give an unapologetic "Anointed No." That advice was passed on to me by someone who is wiser than she thinks and if you're reading this, Thank you.
And when it's all said and done, he is confident in my ability to be strong for our family by faith with the help of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..."Husband, I've got you covered."
The Chef and I pray about every topic that we discuss on our Blog Spot. This is one of those topics that has been lingering, not because we didn't pray about it, but because we wanted to be able to have a mature discussion. If you are sensitive to certain "grey area" topics, then now is the time to stop reading this.
Sloppy Seconds is the term used, by extension, to refer to any act of entering into a sexual relationship with a person who had previously been in a sexual relationship with someone else in one's peer group.
Sometimes I just can not believe the level of mediocracy and desperation that has swept the land. The very idea of accepting the unacceptable is quite disturbing. Every man and woman doing what is right in their own eyes with full knowledge of what is morally and spiritually acceptable because we are in the Dispensation of Grace. Romans 6:1-3 (MSG) says, "So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? Or didn’t you realize we packed up and left there for good? That is what happened in baptism. When we went under the water, we left the old country of sin behind; when we came up out of the water, we entered into the new country of grace—a new life in a new land!"
Coming from a Chef's point of view, even though some of us use food to create leftovers, its not our most favorite thing to do. See, when you use food from a previous meal, the balance is thrown off. We spend so much time working on a Meal or Dish. We use certain seasonings, but more importantly, a real Chef puts their heart and soul into every dish. When I prepare a Meal or Dish, I visualize what the outcome is going to look and taste like far before I turn the fire on for the first time. Then I plan what seasonings and preparations are needed for the task to make it as special as my vision. And not to mention how much of my heart and time will go into it. I work very hard to bring my Meal or Dish into alignment with my vision.
But we are talking about Life and Relationships...or are we? When you try to be with someone that is married or in a serious relationship, it is very Sloppy, Second hand and a Virtual Hand-me-down. Before, During and After the time a person is with someone, investments into the relationship have been made. Vision - God points two people to the right direction so that an encounter pursues. After the first encounter, the two envision what the first date or life with that person would be like. Preparation - We covered this in previous Blog post. There are many painstaking things that go into making things perfect or even close to perfection of our vision. Life - The actual date and what comes forth. So much is invested into Marriage and Relationships, no wonder the devil works so hard to send Sloppy Seconds to steal, kill and destroy them. Why on earth would anyone want something that has been used by someone else?
Unfortuantely, we as men, when we feel at our most Gutter, Back-Alley, Lazy and Trifling ways, do we think that such behavior is acceptable? We are not talking second and third marriages. We are talking about Sloppy Seconds. Look up the definition in the urban dictionary and you will understand what I'm talking about. *thots, hoes, jezebels, side-pieces, side-chicks or even women or men that you are creeping with are doing it to Steal, Kill and Destroy what doesn't belong to them in the first place. And when they are finished with you or even while they are doing it with you, they go to the next "John" or since we are acting Gutter, the next "Trick" that they have already marked.
I've said it once, this is the second time. Leave your neighbor's ass alone. When the stray donkeys pass along side your fence, leave it alone. "Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and lakes that you're use to." - TLC
Oh yeah! We were talking about food, meals and dishes. When Chefs use Leftovers, we have to put in more work to perfect the New Dish because who knows what was used to make it before us. But when you make a Meal from scratch, you know what ingredients you are getting and how fresh they are. You know if it's spoiled or not. And you know if it needs to be discarded or not.
*Purposely left uncapitalized to show how insignificant these roles are.*
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.