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Relationship Series:                                                                  8 Stages of A Relationship                                    Stage Four - Duration

6/13/2016

 
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Photo: wisdom-trek.com
          When I hear the word duration, the song Time After Time, by Cyndi Lauper comes to mind.  I know you youngsters don’t know anything about this song, but I would like to invite you to listen to the words and not just hear the words.   Take a look at Ms. Lauper's video at the bottom of this post shared from YouTube for your listening convenience.  Click on: Watch on YouTube.  The chorus or the hook says:

                                   “If you're lost you can look and you will find me
                                          Time after time
                                     If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting
                                          Time after time
                                     If you're lost you can look and you will find me
                                           Time after time
                                      If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting
                                           Time after time”

          It makes me wonder, given that duration is the time in which something continues; fullness; extent or span, do we sometimes get lost?  And if we’re lost as an individual, can we look and find our Spouse waiting time after time?  And when a Husband and Wife fall, who can they look to that will catch them time after time?
          Duration as it pertains to marriage is not only about time.  Sure, everyone likes to brag about how long they've been married. Now I must admit, the years in numbers alone, do give you a certain credibility or the lack thereof.   But along with those numbers, there comes certain experiences. Those experiences vary depending on the number of years and the couple involved.  Duration is about being there for the fullness of your time together as a married couple. Duration is about understanding that marriage is something that is constantly evolving throughout a span of life.  Your lives to be exact.  The catch is, no one knows what their span of life is.  So I submit to you, to live each day like it's your last together. What would you do if you knew the exact day that you would run out of time? How are you going to extract the fullness out of your marriage every single day together?
          Duration reminds me of the Energizer Bunny, "It  just keeps going and going."  When we get into relationships, we all aspire to keep going and going under any circumstances.  You want that person to stick with you no matter what.  But... Life happens...And now everything is tested.  At times, duration may appear to have a stopping point.  Where did all the time go?  The bliss of staying together starts to dim. Questions start to arise, did I make the right choice? Before you know it, you start shopping for a replacement.
          Duration is like a cross country obstacle course.  The course is not easy, it is full of rocks, barriers, pitfalls and at times you want to give up.  Duration kicks in when there is sickness, we keep going.  When we are broke, we keep going.  When it hurts, we keep going. When it is not pleasant, we keep going.  When everything is good, we keep going.  When it is popular or not, we keep going.  When others tell us to stop, we keep going. True duration will always have its rewards.  It's easy to give up and throw in the towel, but our advise is to keep going.  Paul said that we press towards the mark.  Pressing means that there is resistance, but you continue anyway.  Paul's duration was until his end.  He counted the Journey All Joy.
          When you work hard at something, invest your whole heart into it, no matter what it pays off in the end.  In every aspect of Life, we have to push through.  We appreciate people better when you have endured together.  Ford's F-150 truck commercial is all about how durable and dependable it is.  As men, not only are we Protectors, Providers and Priest, but our true heart is displayed in our ability to STAND and STAY and STAND under incredible circumstances.
          Be Husband, Father, A Man, Friend, Brother and above all, a God-fearing Man.  Be Wife,  Mother, A Woman, Friend, Sister and above all, a God-fearing Woman.  Be Durable, you are "Built Tough" just like the Ford truck.  Funny, but true because at the end of the day, we are built that way. When you press until the end, the Expression of Joy comes from looking back at what you came through. It is only then, will you understand the Full Meaning of Duration.




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    Authors

    The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of  life together.  We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children.  We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage.  This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own.  We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.  

    Please feel free to email us questions or topics of discussion to: TheChefandTheRefBlog@gmail.com 

    ​We look forward to talking with you soon!

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