"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Neil Armstrong made one of the most powerful statements of all time when he was the first man to land on the moon. Exploration is going to unfamiliar territory in order to learn about it. Because Mr. Armstrong had the courage to explore unfamiliar territory, he helped paved the way for others. Which small steps are you taking in your marriage to help other marriages take one giant leap forward?
Relationships and Marriage is totally unfamiliar territory even if you have done it many times before. Each person you have a relationship with brings new personalities and adventures. Relationships are like fingerprints, though similar, no two are alike. Each relationship we are involved in, begins in a state of unfamiliar territory.
As men, we are always pushing the envelope on these unfamiliar places to see what they are all about. Whether it be, Mentally, Physically, Financially or even Spiritually, men have a tendency to over indulge in the unfamiliar. Even though we concentrate more on the physical, we still want to know what the other territories are all about. We even conduct research to see the pros and cons. Our curiosity is never satisfied. Whether it is right or wrong, our desire to explore will not die.
College is the period I call the "Wonder Years." Why? Because we wonder what we want to be?... wonder what can we get into?... and wonder what we can get away with? Questions are the fuel that powers exploration. The foundation of those questions will determine which unfamiliar highway you will explore. What type of questions are you asking about your marital relationship? Have you carried the "Wonder Years" into a stage of life where it does not belong? It's perfectly fine to want to go into unfamiliar territory concerning you and your spouse's relationship in order to learn more about it. We would like to submit to you some food for thought. If questions are the fuel that powers exploration, then just as a gas station has Premium, Super, Regular and Diesel gasoline, be very careful that the fuel you choose is the right one for your vehicle. Otherwise, it will cause extensive damage to your territory.
Exploration in marriage brings us back to Hebrews 13:4 KJV that states, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." When it comes to exploration with your spouse, there is always a bigger picture. Exploration is not just sexual intercourse, it's much more. To fully connect, we need to get to those unfamiliar territories. Most of those hidden, unspoken territories that involve skeletons or baggage. When the Explorers of old went on their quest, they went to open up territories for many different people for many different purposes. Sometimes there were wild animals, mountains and rough waters that jeopardized the entire journey. There's nothing like building up a good momentum and then something comes along and slows everything down. It makes the exploration process not seem worth it. But on the flip side, once the territory was explored and the obstacles conquered, it opened up possibilities that are still affecting generations to this day. We have found that marriage is the same way. Once all the unfamiliar territories have been conquered, then the possibilities of growth will always shine through.
Knock down those barriers, kill those wild animals and cross those raging waters. Explore the unfamiliar territories of your spouse and you will both be on top of the world together.
The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of life together. We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children. We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage. This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own. We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.