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power couples series - bible edition

4/8/2019

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"Aquila and priscilla, Together in ministry"

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Photo Credit: www.moldovacristina.com
     In this modern day, there are so many examples of married couples in ministry.  The mega churches are usually the ones that get the most attention.  As a congregant, I believe that every member loves, respects and admonishes their Pastor and First Lady for being the leaders that God has called them to be.  I sure do.
     As we continue our Power Couples Series, I wanted to direct your attention to a couple in the New Testament by the name of Aquila and Priscilla.  You may or may not have heard of them, but their example as Missionaries of the Gospel deserves our attention and has placed them among the ranks of a true Power Couple.
     The first mention of Aquila and Priscilla can be found in Acts 18:1-3 KJV where the Apostle Paul has come to a place called Corinth.  It is there he finds the couple who are tentmakers by trade who run a family business.  Aquila and Priscilla were not only partners in life, partners in the Faith, but also partners in business.  There are several notable attributes of this couple that could also help couples together in ministry today.
     Aquila and Priscilla have overcome hardships together.  The couple were banished from Rome by Claudius.  That meant they had to pack up their belongings and their family a relocate to another city or town.  Can you imagine someone commanding you and your family to leave a city or town from where you grew up in?  I am sure that it was unexpected.  I am sure that the couple incurred some unexpected travel expenses.  I am sure it was not an easy transition for their business ventures as well.
     Aquila and Priscilla ran the family business together.  The couple and the Apostle Paul all had the same occupation as tentmakers.  Maybe that is one of the reasons that Paul was drawn to them, commonality.  The important point here is that even though the couple suffered a financial set-back, they continued their missionary work for Christ.  They worked together and not let material difficulties deter them from their destiny.
     Aquila and Priscilla maintained the Spirit of Hospitality.  Although they were new to Corinth, the showed hospitality to the Apostle Paul when he arrived by allowing him to stay at their new home.  The couple displays attributes of an unselfish, loving, open heart.  When one has an open heart, receiving others comes naturally.  And when they at Ephesus, their home was also open for Apollos. Acts 18:26 KJV states, “And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto then, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly.”
     Aquila and Priscilla worked together in ministry as missionaries. They were exiled from Rome by Claudius, the moved to Corinth and from there joined the Apostle Paul to preach the Way of the Lord and to plant a church in Ephesus.  As a matter of fact, the couple opened their house as a gathering place to have church.  I wonder how many couples today would open up their home as a place for people to come and worship God?  Or how many couples today would open up their home for a Preacher or Teacher of the Gospel to stay while completing their missionary work?   
    Aquila and Priscilla taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Apollos only knew of the Gospel taught by John the Baptist.  After hearing Apollos preach in the Synagogue in Ephesus, the couple invited him to their home to teach him about The Gospel of Jesus Christ more accurately.  I like this attribute of ministry because it is an excellent example of iron sharpening iron.  A fellow Minister in the Gospel needed some updated information in order for him to be more effective at drawing souls to Christ and Aquila and Priscilla intervened.
     Aquila and Priscilla risked their lives for others.  Romans 16:3-5 KJV states, “Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus:  Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles.  Likewise greet the church that is in their house.  Salute my well-beloved Epaenetus, who is the first fruits of Achaia unto Christ.”  The Apostle Paul is expressing his gratitude for the missionary couple being loyal, even if it meant risking their own life.  Isn’t that what Jesus Christ did for us? He gave His life so we might have eternal life.  This world is so corrupt.  How many people in your circle can you truly say would lay down their life for you?  I read a quote that said, “Blood makes you related, Loyalty makes you family.”
     Aquila and Priscilla showed mutual respect. Mutual respect is at the heart of every couple who works together in ministry.  Their relationship and the way each had mutual respect for the others gifts. In the few times, they were mentioned in scripture, competition was never recorded.  Aquila making Priscilla second with anything was never recorded.  Whenever you saw one, you saw the other.
     There’s a modern idea that husband and wife should not or cannot work together in ministry.  I’m here to tell you nothing can be further from the truth.  It is very important for Christian married couples to work together in ministry.  It does not matter if one or both are of the called.  Matthew 18:20 KJV states, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”  Two, husband and wife, three, husband, wife and God. The Triune God, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit all work together in ministry.  Three in one.
     When laying hands at the altar, all married couples should be together.  Husbands should pray for the men while the wife prays in the Spirit alongside.  Wives should pray for the women while the husband prays in the Spirit alongside.  We were raised in an old school church and this was protocol when my husband and I were young ministers.  Now looking from the perspective of modern day churches, I understand why.  God covers the couple and the couple covers one another.
     Although Aquila and Priscilla were only mentioned a few times in the Bible.  There are three important lessons, Christian married couples can learn from the life of this godly couple who wanted their lives to be used in the service of the Lord.  One, they understood the divine favor of God in their lives.  Second, they experienced togetherness, some have suggested it should be “two-getherness” in their marriage.  And finally, they put God first in their lives.


*Original Article published in heavenandheels.net online magazine for women.*
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Power couples series - bible edition

3/31/2019

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“Zacharias and Elisabeth, Righteous Before God”
Luke 1:5-25 KJV
*names spelled according to the KJV Version of the Bible.*

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Photo Credit: youtube.com A Faith Kid's Bible Video
​​     Have you ever prayed to The Lord for something and He didn’t send an answer at the time you thought was sufficient?  At times, it is easy to feel that if I just follow the rules, keep my nose to the ground and do what I’m supposed to do, then God will answer my request.  You know, sing in the choir, feed the hungry, and love my neighbor as I love myself, then surely when I make my request known to God, He will answer right away.  I am here to tell you that God is not moved by our time table.  In His Omnipresent-ness, He is present everywhere at the same time.  Time is of no consequence to Him.  He has already stated in the Book of Ecclesiastes, everything has its appointed time.
     In the book of Luke 1:5-25, the story of Zacharias and Elisabeth is recorded.  Luke describes the Power Couple as “both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.”  An example of a couple that followed the rules, kept their nose to the ground and did what they were supposed to do.  Yet something was still missing.  How many couples find themselves having everything they you ever wanted, except that one thing? And the lack of that one thing makes you act like you have nothing. There is a feeling of incompleteness that drives you to not stop until you obtain that one thing.
     In the account of Zacharias and Elisabeth, in a society where having male children or any children at all for that matter, was considered a rite of passage, it was the one thing the couple did not have.  And now the couple is over sixty years of age, which was considered pass childbearing years.  I am sure that the both of them had come to terms with the fact that their one thing would never happen.  But then again, neither of them are Omnipresent.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 KJV states, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” 
     The one thing I admire about this couple is their faithful service to the Lord.  Despite the void each one felt from Elisabeth’s barrenness, despite the prayers that had not yet been answered, despite the townspeople whispering about their situation, despite the loss of hope, even in their old age, they were never out of service.  
     Zacharias was a priest who had the very important task of sprinkling incense on the altar to burn it.  He was supposed to pour the incense onto the golden altar, bow in worship to God and then leave that part of the temple and say the final prayer of the service. One day while serving in the House of the Lord, at the appointed time, the season dedicated to every purpose under the heavens, Gabriel, an angel, God’s Messenger, appeared to Zacharias while he was serving in the temple of the Lord.  
     Gabriel was there to personally deliver a Word from God.  Zacharias and Elisabeth would soon find out their prayer for that one thing would finally be answered.  The Power Couple would have a son whose name was to be called John, meaning, “The Lord is Gracious.”  Their purpose had finally been revealed.  Can you imagine?  Gods’ grace reached down from Heaven and chose them to be the parents of John the Baptist.  With just one word, God can change the trajectory of your one thing.  Do you have the faith to both believe and receive God’s grace in action for your marriage or whatever your one thing is?
     Even though Zacharias and Elisabeth were described as being a blameless couple, each of them did one thing which shows us that no married couple is perfect.  At his hearing of what should have been joyous news, out of fear Zacharias wanted proof of God’s Word.  Disappointed by his lack of faith, Gabriel, the angel, caused him to become mute until the birth of John the Baptist.         
     Elisabeth, after becoming pregnant, went into seclusion or hiding for the first five months, because of the fear that people might not have believed she could become pregnant.  May I submit to you that, this may be one of the reasons Mary, Mother of Jesus visited her cousin Elisabeth.  How many of us as women after God reveals His promise to us, hide the joyous news of its’ fulfillment for fear of what other people may think or say?  
     How many of us have allowed fear to almost make us miss our appointed time of purpose?  Maybe not miss it.  Maybe it’s more like not being able to enjoy it because of fear.  But God, being the Gracious Father that He is, will send His Messenger down from Heaven to personally deliver your purpose to you.  All you have to do is keep serving faithfully.  Be on your post when you’re supposed to be.  Doing what you were chosen to do for Him.  After offering up a sweet-smelling savor and worshipping Him, right before the benediction, just look to the right of the altar, and there, God’s Messenger will be waiting for you to deliver your purpose at His appointed time.
     For the record, Elisabeth had John the Baptist at age eighty-eight.

                                    *Original article published in Heaven and Heels Magazine, March 27, 2019 at heavenandheels.net*
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Testimony vs Confession

1/27/2019

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James 5:16 KJV - "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."
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Photo Credit: Painted By Alexander Khokhlov
     "Confess our faults one to another."  Many times are testimony turns into a confession.  As humans, we feel confession is vindication for our past mistakes.  Often times, our confessions turn into "spilling the tea sessions."  "Spilling the tea" is an African American colloquialism that simply means, "gossip."  These type of sessions gives your haters the necessary receipts needed to either destroy you or make your life a living nightmare.  At no point in your Christian walk do you ever want to give your enemies ammunition to say, "See, I told you so."
     Confession is a formal statement admitting that one is guilty of a crime;  an admission or acknowledgment that one has done something that one is ashamed or embarrassed about.  Testimony is a public recounting of a religious conversion or experience.  The older Saints use to say, "God has done so much for me, I couldn't tell it all."  Recounting the goodness of Jesus is a perfect example of a testimony.  It edifies the Body of Christ which is spreading the Good News.  
     The Bible says in Revelation 12:11 KJV, "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death."  Anytime you hear the word testimony, one thinks about Court, Lawyers, Prosecutors and Judges.  Ironically, that is exactly what it is.  Satan is the "Great Accuser" (The Prosecutor) roaming to and fro seeking whom he may devour.  He comes before the Throne of God (The Only Righteous Judge), with receipts to discredit your testimony.  He pleads a case from a confessional standpoint to recall all of the things Jesus Christ (The Lawyer in a Courtroom) died on the cross for.  Jesus has already came to our defense, over two thousand years ago.  So any receipts that satan attempts to present is thrown out of court because it is consider inadmissible evidence to The Lord.
     Testimony is about how, even though we don't deserve it or haven't done anything to earn it, God still gives us grace and mercy.  Jesus' love far exceeds anything that our mere mortal mind can conceive.  That is what the devil is truly testing.  Your testimony of Christ' unconditional love.  Even if we had nothing at all, we have everything with Jesus. Confession is good and all, but Testimony of our relationship with Jesus is the ultimate Good News.
     We are human and we have many faults and make a lot of mistakes.  But, get over yourself and realize that it was just a mistake, except the consequences and move on.  Confession does not build or edify The Body of Christ.  It is designed for one to admit to a crime or immoral act they're embarrassed about and then be sentenced by a jury of one's peers.  I don't know about you, I love my peers, but I only want God, The only Righteous Judge to hear my plea and hand down my sentence.
     Bottom line, Confess to Jesus and Testify to men.
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"the pearl of great Price"

1/18/2019

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Matthew 13:45-46 KJV - "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:  Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it."
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Photo Credit: threegreatthings.com
     The pearl itself is a beautiful, single entity, formed through suffering in the heart of the oyster that is normally put on display.  Merchants will go to great lengths to find the most perfect pearl because they understand its value.  Merchants and Consumers alike are willing to pay an enormous price for the perfect pearl.
     According to history and myths, pearls are symbolic of wisdom gained through experience.  Pearls are well-known for their calming effect and they have a way of bringing about balance to your body.  Myths say that pearls keep your children safe while strengthening your relationships.  It is also believed that pearls are symbolic of the wearer's loyalty, generosity, integrity and purity.  Despite the many different things pearls are said to symbolize, the most common is purity and loyalty of its wearer.  This is one reason why more brides are choosing to wear them on their wedding day.
     The Pearl of Great Price made me think about Married Couples in Ministry.  Being the wife of a Minster for 28 years has not always been easy.  It is even more challenging when both you and your Spouse are called to the Ministry.  My attention was directed to Priscilla and Aquila who were Christian missionaries under the leadership of the Apostle Paul.  They lived, worked, and traveled with the Apostle Paul who described them as his "fellow workers in Christ Jesus."  They are mentioned six times in the Bible in four different books of the New Testament, always named as a couple and never individually.  Whether one or both of you are called to the Ministry,  Husbands and Wives must work together as a unit, collaboration and partners in Ministry.
     Wives, we are Pearls of Great Price where God has chosen each of us specifically for our Husbands.  Each marriage with a partnership anointed by God to work together in Ministry for His Glory.  Ephesians 4:11-12 KJV states, "And he gave some apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for edifying of the body of Christ:"
     Theologians have different interpretations of The Parable of the Pearl or The Pearl of Great Price.  One interpretation is that it illustrates the great value of the Kingdom of Heaven.  Another interpretation is that the merchant represents Jesus, and the pearl represents the Christian Church.  I would definitely agree with both of those interpretations. 
     May I submit to you that The Pearl of Great Price as it pertains to Christian Marriages refers to both husband and wife, but for the purpose of this post, we will focus on the Wives.  Husbands, no worries, Chef has your back.  He will speak to you next week.
     The pearl itself is a beautiful, single entity, formed through suffering in the heart of the oyster that is normally put on display.  Wives, as Pearls of Great Price, we know that this comes with great suffering and at times it is difficult to conceal our emotions and reactions to it.  Someone summoned up enough courage to ask me why was I so tough on side Baes and side Boos.  I explained to them that Bae and Boo simply have no interest in ever becoming a Pearl of Great Price.  They want all the benefits and perks of being a Wife or a Husband, but they don't want to pay the cost.  Fake pearls can be made to look like more expensive pearls, but they are made up of glass, ceramic, shell or plastic. This bead or fragment is then coated with a varnish or some other material that simulates a pearl-like luster and false iridescence. They are manufactured by humans to fool the human eye.
   After all, being a Pearl of Great Price comes with an extensive job description.  A Pearl of Great Price hours of operations are from sunup to sundown.  A Pearl of Great Price often has to work in the house, on their regular nine to five and work in the Ministry.  A Pearl of Great Price sits through hospital stays, aftercare stays and often assumes the role as Caregiver for everyone but herself.  A Pearl of Great Price is there when times are bad and when times are good.  A Pearl of Great Price is there when there is no money and is there when the money is rolling in.  A Pearl of Great Price is there through baby mama drama.  A Pearl of Great Price is there when "Sister Too Loose n' Tight" is there trying to low key holla at their Husband, saying, "Not today devil!" 
     A Pearl of Great Price is there after the sermon is over to comfort and strengthen her Husband who is in pain and exhausted from pouring out all that God has poured into him to give to His people. A Pearl of Great Price is never "out of service."  A Pearl of Great Price would never withhold sexual intimacy from their Husband for days, weeks or months on end and still send them on the front lines of Ministry frustrated and vulnerable to the devices of Fake Pearls or Beads laying in wait for any sign of weakness. Then brag about it to their Fake Friends. Like when God was handing out Va-jay-jays, you were the only one who got one.  Oh we are going to talk about this on today. STOP it. Stop pretending this isn't happening or hasn't happened. Do you think ignoring it, is going to make it go away? Then you are not A Pearl of Great Price.
     The Parable of the Pearl is demonstrating to us the cost to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  It is demonstrating the lengths that Jesus went through to put us into a position where all our sins would be forgiven and we would now have access to eternal life.  God so loved us that He sent His Only Begotten Son down from Heaven to save us from eternal damnation.  He showed us what to do with A Pearl of Great Price and just how much it will cost.  The question is, "Are you willing to pay the cost, which is everything, to be A Pearl of Great Price?"  Or "Are you going to join the ranks of Fake Pearls or Beads that are manufactured by humans to fool the human eye?   
​     Ministry is bigger than you and I.  In fact it's not even about us.  It's all about Jesus.  It's all about saving lost souls.  It's about paying the cost for The Pearl of Great Price.
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grand Theft

1/7/2019

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"​The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." - John 10:10 KJV
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Photo Credit: denofgeek.com
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Photo Credit: alienwarearena.com

    The most common usage of the word theft is defined as ​the taking of another person's property or services without that person's permission or consent with the intent to deprive the rightful owner of it.  As Believers, it is our daily prayer, that we allow the Holy Spirit to bring our intentions into subjection under the Mighty Hand of God.
       If you have ever been the victim of having someone take something from you with the intent for you not to have it anymore, it lends for a feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and makes you question your judgement.  Why didn't I see this coming?  What did I do to deserve this?  Why would someone want to hurt me? Why?
    To be transparent, I have been sitting back watching a surge or trend if you will of tomfoolery happening both inside and outside the Body of Christ.  I am usually not the soul of tact, but it never stopped me before from saying what I want to say.  Today is no different. If you cannot accept the reality of the highs and lows of marriage, then you probably want to read something that will make you feel better about the lies you've been living with.  Our mission is to invest in marriages through biblical principles and reality.
    So here's the thing! I am not sure at what point it became acceptable to commit "Grand Theft" of marriages?  Has anybody ever asked, "Why is the devil fighting marriages in alarming numbers?"  Has anybody ever asked, "Why has the original intent of the marriage/family structure been mangled and is getting more and more distorted everyday?"  More importantly, "Does anybody care?"  "Or have we surrendered our marriages and families to Thieves?"      
     The idea of someone making another person's spouse their "mark" is very disturbing to me.  But with any criminal court case, in order to get a guilty verdict, you must prove intent.  Did him or her intend to have sexual intercourse or fallatio with someone other than their spouse?  This idea of, "We didn't have sex, we just engaged in fallatio." STOP swapping DNA with people whom you were never meant to connect with.  If he or she is NOT your spouse, you have committed Grand Theft.  Grand Theft as it pertains to marriages means intentionally depriving the two parties of everything that God had for them.  Grand Theft as it pertains to marriages means allowing the Thief access to a valuable vault filled with blessings specifically designed for a Husband and His Own Wife...A Wife and Her Own Husband.
      Thieves usually have a plan.  Thieves choose the person or persons they want to deprive of what's rightfully theirs.  It could take a Thief days, weeks, months or years even to finally carry out their plan.  Thieves study their intended targets.  Thieves do their homework.  Thieves try and crack the correct code. Thieves never rob empty vaults.  Thieves only take what's valuable once they're in.  Thieves could be male or female. Thieves could be saved or unsaved. Thieves could be young or old. Thieves actually think they have gotten away with something.  Thieves have planned their escape routes.  Thieves anticipate getting caught and devise a way to get out of it.  Thieves "go big or stay home."  John 10:10 KJV states, " The cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy:  I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
     The house we live in came with a complete home security system.  Anti-theft devices have come a long way.  We downloaded and app to our cell phone which connects to the main server at the house and we can open the app from where ever we are and see live feed of what's going on both inside and outside the perimeter/grounds of our house.  We are more at ease when we are away from home or when one of us is at work and the other is at home with the children.  We can also monitor the children when they are outside with their friends.
     It made me think about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who hung on an old rugged cross between two Thieves on Calvary.  The scripture says, "one on the right hand, the other on the left."  After all, the two Thieves' intentions had been weighed in the balances and were found wanting.  The two Thieves had been convicted of the intent to deprive rightful owners of something they owned that was taken without their consent or permission.  The All Knowing, knew before the beginning that we would need the greatest example of an Anti-Theft device.  He gave us the greatest example of what to do when you are a victim of Grand Theft.
     There on display for the whole world to see, He gave us an example of how to sentence two Thieves on a cross.  God is the only Righteous Judge. One mocked and tempted Jesus because of his unbelief that Jesus was the Messiah and received the sentence he deserved.  The other repented because he believed that Jesus was the Son of God and was sentenced to an entrance ticket into Paradise, a sentence he did NOT deserve.  Luke 23:43 KJV, "And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise."
     This is an appeal to Husbands and Wives to hold to God's Unchanging Hand concerning your marriage.  Stop allowing Thieves to have access to your bodies, minds, spirit, joy, love and peace. You do not have to become or succumb to the devices of Thieves. I read a quote that said, "Condoms won't protect you from sexually transmitted demons." Pray, cover each other with the blood of Jesus and cover your Union with the blood of Jesus.  Remember, Jesus hung between two Thieves in front of the whole world so you and I would not receive the sentence that we deserve.
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Public Figure

9/21/2018

 
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Photo Credit: etsy.com
     It appears the term Public Figure has been morphed into something that it was never intended to be.  A Public Figure in US Law is defined as a person such as a politician, celebrity or business leader who has a certain social position within a certain scope and a significant influence and is so often widely concerned by the public, can benefit enormously from society, and is closely related to public interests in society.
     I've been watching the highs and lows and the pros and cons of people who are legitimately considered Public Figures.  It is noted that anytime you are in a position or possess a title where dealing with the public is a non-negotiable, that person has unintentionally opened themselves up to supporters and nonsupporters.  One will experience both positive and negative criticism.  I have been watching those Public Figures of whom I admire and respect to see how they appropriately respond, if at all to both. How do you gracefully drown out the noise? I asked Chef in hopes he could offer some insight.  For those of you that really know him, not just know of him, you know how that went.  In paraphrasing what he said, "Excuse me, I'm looking for my give a care..I can't seem to find it?" That was no help, but it was funny.
     If The Lord has ever given you a vision and a mission concerning matters of society or dealing with social issues and you move forward with that vision or mission,  you have joined the ranks of a Public Figure even if you don't consider yourself one.  Why?  Because you are on a platform of influence.  Jesus and the Twelve Apostles' Vision and Mission was to convert Followers to Christ.  Followers is not a new concept reserved for Social Media.  The idea of gaining the most Followers started back in the Bible with just one "tweet" which stated, "Repent! For the Kingdom of God is at hand." #Jesus #Disciples #FishersOfMen #EternalLife
     Malcolm X stated, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."  Then there's, "Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything." And, "When you stand for nothing, you fall for everything."  The common denominator in case you missed it, is standing.  A Public Figure takes a stand on their Vision and Mission without wavering while being subjected to both positive and negative criticism from their Followers.
     In my devotional time, it dawned on me that Jesus Christ is the most influential Public Figure ever known to man.  All of us can learn valuable lessons from Jesus Christ and the seamless way He managed "crowd control" of His Followers while on His Mission to save the world from their sins.  He knew the crowd contained supporters and non supporters.  Why someone would be a Follower of someone or something they hate, I don't understand?  But we see it daily through radio, television and social media platforms.
     I was directed to the Book of Proverbs 16: 1-33 KJV where the Bible talks about "Wisdom Is Better Than Gold."  This chapter clearly outlines 9 essential characteristics of a Godly Leader: (1) A Godly Leader seeks direction from God. - Proverbs 16:1
(2) A Godly Leader is not arrogant, but modest. - Proverbs 16:5
(3) A Godly Leader is a peacemaker. - Proverbs 16:7
(4) A Godly Leader is fair and just. - Proverbs 16:8
(5) A Godly Leader surrounds himself or herself with honest, trustworthy counselors...and then listens to them. - Proverbs 16:13 & Proverbs 15:22
(6) A Godly Leader is a good learner. - Proverbs 16:16
(7) A Godly Leader is humble. - Proverbs 16:18-19
(8) A Godly Leader is sensible and kind. - Proverbs 16:22-23
(9) A Godly Leader is slow to anger. - Proverbs 16:24 & Proverbs 16:27
     I thought about Jesus, who came down from Heaven as The Greatest Example of Leadership, A Public Figure born of a Virgin whose name was Mary, in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes, a Carpenter's Son. Then I thought about the many Men and Women of God of whom are Public Figures or are in Leadership Roles who display these characteristics in their leadership dealings on a daily basis. To watch them in their gifting is truly an honor and a privilege.  It is Mentorship as it's very best. To all of those Public Figures who are aligned with these 9 characteristics, we pray God's continued blessings over your life.  We pray that God gives you the strength needed to complete your assignment.  Why?  Because there are people waiting on YOU...the ones (souls) that the Lord has assigned to YOU...waiting on YOU to fulfill your Destiny. 

"Adam, where art thou?"

2/7/2018

 
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Photo Credit: petersontoscano.wordpress.com
     A couple of days ago, My Wife called me on the phone and before I could utter a word, she asked me, "Where Are You?"  It was a rhetorical question because I had told her my plans for the day and I knew part of my plans was to take care of her "Honey Do List."
     Then I started thinking about when God, ( Jehovah Bara - Lord Creator) who is All-Knowing asked Adam, "Where was He?" I became intrigued.  Didn't God know where Adam was and what was going on?  Or was it a rhetorical question?  Then it came to me, God wasn't asking Adam the question because He wanted an answer or didn't know the answer. I believe He asked the question so that Adam could ask himself that question.  Somewhere along the way, Adam lost himself.  And in losing himself, he lost certain priviledges and promises right along with it.  The even bigger question is, "Was it worth it?"  If you've ever lost yourself, that is a question only you could answer.
     ​In marriages, we have times when the Spouse knows our every move.  Call it routine or just plain habit, but when you have a certain way or method of doing things, your lifestyle becomes predictable.  It’s when we break that routine that our Spouse can tell something is wrong.
     After a period of time, altering routines in any way sends up a red flag.  Anytime you step out of your normal, it raises questions.  “Where are you?” “What are you doing?”  “And is everything ok?”  These types of questions need answers.  Answers that you attempt to give but somehow seem to fail at being clear about.  My Grandmother use to say that, “wrong is always chasing you, but right will follow.” When you do something wrong The Spirit will convict you and you will find yourself trying to make things right again.  Lies and deception only closes the window of blessings that God will open for you if and when you do His Will.  There are conditions associated with promises.  Abide by those conditions and receive the promise.  If you don't, you will only expose yourself and receive the consequences of your disobedience just like Adam.
     I had a friend that couldn’t understand how his Wife always knew when he was sneaking off to the strip clubs.  I told him that the whole time he spent trying to cover up everything, he failed to see the obvious.  You know… money disappearing out of their bank account, coming home with perfume on his clothes and neglecting his Wife and Children.  So that’s why the question, “Where are you?” is rhetorical. His Wife knew exactly where he was the entire time.  God is married to the "Backslider" and knows exactly "where he or she is" just as He knew exactly where Adam was in the Garden.
     When God asked Adam, “Where art thou?”  Adam knew that by eating the fruit from the Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil he was acting in disobedience to God.  After all, God gave that commandment to Adam.  The spirit within Adam convicted him and caused him to hide.  Like when you know you are doing something that isn’t right.  You are convicted in your spirit and the next thing you know, you are trying to hide or cover up your wrongs.
     So ask yourself the Question, “Where art thou?”  "Where am I in regards to my relationship with God, my Marriage and my Family?"  The Spirit is always crystal clear.  It is the Spirit of Truth.  And the Truth will not only set you free, but it will make you free.  And who The Son set free, He's free indeed.

power couples

12/20/2017

 
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Photo Credit: pinterest.com
      I have been watching the trend of the term Power Couples for the past several years.  I've noticed that the definition changes based upon who is defining the term.  Originally, it was a term that was given to Couples who seemed to have a Fairytale Romance.  The Couple would be people of influence, especially to those around them with jaw-dropping good looks and would seemingly have the perfect relationship with their significant other.  The most common type of Power Couple is given to famous people like Beyonce' and Jay-Z or Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union.  I love both of those Couples and would definitely agree.  It's not easy to live out your life on a stage in front of the entire world while drowning out the opinions of people you will never even meet, but because they are a fan or a follower, they think they know you.
     May I submit to you, that the term Power Couple is not new terminology.  After all, if you really look at it, the very first Power Couple was Adam and Eve who started out their relationship with everything a Married Couple could ever want in the Garden of Eden.  Until Eve was deceived by the serpent and they were evicted.  There was Abraham and Sarah, who were an older Power Couple, desperate to have a child.  Sarah tried to fix the situation by soliciting a Surrogate Mother, jealousy erupted and you know what happened next.  In the end, God's Promises were still fulfilled.  How about Jacob and Rachel?  Jacob was willing to work for 14 years just to marry his One True Love, Rachel.  Even after being subjected to trickery from his Father-in-Law, Jacob and Rachel became a Power Couple in the end.  
     I saw a quote that read, "When Boaz saw Ruth, she was working, not twerking."  Boaz was attracted to Ruth's exceptional loyalty, they fell in love, married and became the Grandparents to King David.  Then we have the Bride and Groom in the Song of Solomon.  If you are still unclear about the difference between Intimacy and Ecstasy in Christian Marriages, the Song of Solomon is an erotic poem that traces one relationship from meeting to courtship to consumation.  I know some people may not want to acknowledge sex in relationship to the Bible, but it is truly an intricate part.  And finally, but certainly not the least or the last, Mary and Joseph.  A Carpenter whose Virgin Bride was chosen to carry and birth the Messiah...Our Messiah...Jesus Christ.  Hands-down, in my opinion, they were the most Influential Power Couple of them all.
     There is so much we can learn from looking at different relationships in terms of #SquadGoals to becoming a Power Couple.  In my opinion, Power Couples are happy and cannot be without each other.  They are two of a kind who can make it through whatever.  They have ups and downs but always manage to make it work.  Anything can happen, but the two are inseparable.  Power Couples are very Loving Couples who made it through storms and still find their way back to each other.  They are forever, no matter what.
     Chef was sitting on the side of the bed early one morning.  I could tell something was bothering him.  Husbands don't really like to talk about their feelings.  They usually prefer to just try and figure situations out by themselves.  Not really knowing what to say, the Holy Spirit told me to tell him this, "I see the King in You."  He looked up at me and said, "Wow."  From that moment forth, his disposition changed from one of sadness and uncertainty to one of joy, hope and confidence.  Wives, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to Speak Life into Your Own Husband.  Romans 8:26 KJV states, "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered."
     In looking briefly into the lives of Power Couples,  there is a commonality.  When your relationship is built on the Solid Rock which is Jesus Christ, it can overcome any obstacle the devil tries to throw your way.  After all, you agreed before God and Man, "For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.  Until death due us part."  All of these relationships have Love, Joy, Struggle, Pain, Promises broken and Promises kept, but because the two have truly become one, they will always rise to the challenge of being a Power Couple with the help of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Romans 13:1 KJV states, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God."  
     So to settle the debate about who is or isn't a Power Couple, having a Marriage that is Ordained by God because there are no powers that be except by Him, makes you The Ultimate Power Couple.

INTIMACY VS. ECSTASY IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES - PART 2

12/7/2017

 
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Photo Credit: apod.nasa.gov /Drawing Credit: XMM-Newton, ESA, NASA
     Ecstasy... If you've never experienced Ecstasy during Intimacy with your own Husband, then you are truly missing out!  I don't think people really understand the difference between Intimacy and Ecstasy. I am hopeful that this topic will bless many marriages because I believe that only a small percentage of married couples have had the unique and divine pleasure of this experience.
     Rapture. Bliss. Elation. Euphoria. Joy. Jubilation. Exultation. A Trancelike state.  These are all words used to describe the experience of Ecstasy during Intimacy.  When you think about the act of Intimacy with your own Husband, what words come to mind?  Is it just another thing to check off on your "To-Do List?"  Is it something that you want to happen quick, fast and painless?  Do you try and make up excuses as to why you don't want to enter into Intimacy with your own Husband?  Do you try and use The Word of God as a means of justification as to why you don't think Intimacy with your own Husband should be a priority for you?  Wives if you find yourself answering "yes" to any of these questions, you haven't experienced real Ecstasy.
     Ecstasty takes Intimacy a step further.  Mark 10:8 NIV states, "and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh."  When the two become one flesh, you can feel one another's emotions.  Your own Husband won't have to "ask" you to be Intimate with him because your bodies will feel one another without even touching.  When he yearns for you, you yearn for him.  It feels like a wave of heat that starts at the crown of your head and slowly moves down to the tip of your toes that you both feel simultaneously.  It makes the anticipation of Intimacy more intense, more trancelike.  And once you are in the act of Intimacy, your bodies are moving in a rhythmic dance.  There are no words, only movement, passion, kisses and it's knowing what the other wants or likes without having to say one word.
     When you are one flesh, you only have eyes for your own Husband. "Every Tom, Dick and Harry" don't matter. When you are one flesh, your so-called friends can't come between your Union by trying to convince you that it is better to "have your cake and eat it too."  Keep listening to that type of advice and you and your cake will end up out on the curb, reduced down to misery.  When you are one flesh, you don't "withhold" anything to make things more intense. It is a myth to make someone wait on purpose.  "Withholding" only opens the door to infidelity. Intense does not mean Intimacy or Ecstasy, it's more like, shaking up a hot Coca Cola can and then opening it expecting not to make a mess.  When you are one flesh, you don't change genitals like you change underwear.  Ladies you've seen or maybe even had underwear that have Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday on them.  Why are you replacing the days of the week with the names of your part-time lovers? When you are one flesh, you don't swap Ecstasy for Intimacy because everyone loses. Ephesians 5:22 KJV states, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."  Stop being sex slaves with a marriage license being bought, sold and traded like our Forefathers and Foremothers. Your have limited yourselves to only experiencing Intimacy.  You will never get the benefits of experiencing Ecstasy.  God created Intimacy and Ecstasty between a Husband and his own Wife.  Wives, do you really want these THOTS to become THOUGHTS like "faded pictures in a broken glass?" Then stop allowing them to take the Ecstasy out of the Intimacy with your own Husband.
     We are a Spirit, that possesses a Soul that lives in a body.  Intimacy is experienced with the body, anyone can do that.  Ecstasty is experienced with not just the Body, but the Spirit and Soul as well.  Intimacy is the Foundation of Ecstasy.  For those Wives complaining about their Husband having ED.  Is it really erectile dysfunction or is it an emotional disturbance?  For those Wives complaining about the "brief" Intimacy encounters with their Husbands, Ecstasy extends that time considerably.   We make time for everything, but each other.  Consider this, are you one flesh expressing a level of Intimacy that ultimately leads to Ecstasy?  If you don't feel Bliss, Elation, Jubilation or Express Intimacy with your own Husband until you both are in a Trancelike state, then the two have not truly become one flesh.  You should try it with your own Husband! Ecstasy is an experience that is truly out of this world.

Intimacy vs. ecstasy in christian marriages - Part 1

12/2/2017

 
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Photo Credit: Xeloheart.com

     Intimacy.  Why is it so taboo to talk about intimacy in Church or even with other Christian Brothers?  When the Bible says that the Marriage Bed is undefiled, it should be easy to talk about.  But intimacy is often acquainted with being "Wordly," "Perverted" or only needed for "Procreation."  Sort of like when the Children of Israel had started doing right in their own sight. But this week, the Ref and I have been talking about how to approach the subject of intimacy versus ecstasy. Let's talk intimacy in Christian Marriages to begin.
     God created intimacy for Marriage.  But because of Man's Lustful desires, it often gets twisted into something that it was never intended to be.  As a man I have to say, "I Love It!"  But just what about intimacy do we really Love.  Is it closeness and  the sheer feeling that during this time one feels as though they are the only man in the world? Is it the animalistic behavior that two people act like during that period of time? Is it the heart pounding, heavy breathing, sweating and body contorting in ways unimaginable?  Or is it the passionate ending and the insatiable desire to sleep, that one loves so much? Well...yes, yes it is.  All of it!  And the consent longing to do it all over again and again and again with the one God joined you together to become One Flesh.
     Marital Intimacy and Intimacy while being single are two totally different things.  It's not just about morality.  When you are not under the covenant of marriage, intimacy is like chasing something that you'll never be able to catch up to.  It's like the dog races that have a fake rabbit on a track.  The gate opens and the Dogs compete to see who would be the fastest to get it. The prize is a small treat and the thing you were chasing wasn't real to begin with.  In Marriage, The Chase is always a fun way to keep the House lively.  You already know what it really takes to catch the prize because what you have obtained was real to begin with.  And the only competition is who catches who first.
     Intimacy is only one facet of Expressions of Love.  One's other facets are just as exciting. True intimacy is not just sexual intercourse, like we as men want to believe.  It is the total act of being transparent and vulnerable.  It is the equivalent of being naked with your clothes but only being seen by the person whom God created uniquely for you to be your Soul Mate forever.
     Man is a Spirit, that possesses a Soul that lives in a Body which is the ultimate definition of the words, "All of Me."  We are on constant guard of not allowing anyone to access entry to "All of Me."  You see the body, but the Spirit and Soul are on Lockdown.  At times you may touch my Body but only God can grant you access to touch my Spiritual man and Soul.  That's why the Bible says, "Two shall become One."  And True Love (I Corinthians 13), is in the midst.  When infidelity, fornication and ungodly Lust try to mimic that Union, it always ends up disasterous.          The Love of a Husband and Wife is truely Unbreakable.  What God has joined together is Unbreakable.  So you wonder why after intimate times the worries of the world seem to fade away?  Well, "Love Lifted Me" to coin a phrase from an ole skool gospel song.  When I'm depressed and feeling like nothing good is happening, "Love Lifted Me."  When I'm feeling like the world has abandoned me, "Love Lifted Me."  Now I know that Intimacy is not the remedy for everything, but the connection with True Intimacy is.  Intimate Times are just the icing on the cake.
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    Authors

    The Chef and The Ref, as we are more affectionately called, are just two individuals who God joined together in the Spirit and then in the Natural to walk through the challenges of  life together.  We have been married for 27 years and have four amazing children.  We get many calls, text and emails asking us questions about a variety of topics as it relates to marriage.  This blog was inspired by the Holy Spirit and an answer to the growing demand of couples who inquire about our experiences in marriage as it relates to their own.  We do not make any claims of being anything more than two sinners, saved by grace who wanted to give couples an opportunity to have safe conversations that will make their marriage stronger. The Chef and The Ref are both licensed and ordained Ministers in the Gospel of Jesus Christ who wanted to create a safe platform for married couples to converse about a variety of topics.  

    Please feel free to email us questions or topics of discussion to: TheChefandTheRefBlog@gmail.com 

    ​We look forward to talking with you soon!

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